Essay 2 of 52: While Tyler Was in School
I've learned so much since Tyler started school in May. Not just about myself, but Tyler, and our marriage too. It's been a season of hardship but also abundant blessing.
First, I am so thankful Anatomy is over. This was such a yucky summer and I am so glad it is done. I would go days without any quality time with Tyler - this being especially difficult since it's my love language. I was so selfish - missing my husband and pouting about a lost summer. Tyler went from working a steady 8 - 5, to wonky school hours and studying until 3 in the morning. I became resentful. I cried a lot. I got mad about dumb things. And overall, I just missed spending time with my best friend.
The thing is about these crazy times, is that you just have to let them pass. We patched up our feelings as best as we could. I tried to deal with my selfishness and be graceful to my incredibly hard working husband, who didn't really want to be studying past his bedtime either. We tried to be a little bit better each day. But mostly, we just focused on that light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes knowing that it will get better someday, is the only thing that gets you through.
Second, I am so thankful for our living situation. You can read more about our story in the archives, but just to recap, God went above and beyond our wildest dreams this year and provided us with free living and a part-time job for Tyler while he is pursing his Masters. Living with college students has it challenges, but I can't stop smiling at how God has provided for us in this season. And as a bonus, I LOVE our apartment. It is bright and small and sunny and cozy.
Because Tyler is in school, much of our future is unclear. We have dreams for what we hope happens next, but for the most part - it is completely wide open. But just like God provided us housing, I have learned that he will keep providing what is next. Not groundbreaking, but I think the first time you really see this happen in your adult life - the implications are profound. I didn't have parents to fall back on this time. God showed up. And as we keep fostering different dreams for our future, I know that God will continue to provide and continue to show up. It might not be my ideal situation, but it will be God's perfect plan.
Third, I am so thankful my husband is pursing something he loves. Tyler worked at a lab in town our first year together, and it broke my heart to see how restless and frustrated he felt. We weren't really sure what was going to happen next and there was no upward mobility in his current job. Tyler wasn't using his gifts at work and as a result, he was really unfulfilled. He was incredibly positive about it, but there was a tiredness that never really went away.
Now Tyler goes to school all day. He comes home, changes, eats lunch, and heads to clinical rounds. He doesn't get home for dinner until 7:45 or 8:00. A full, exhausting, 12 hour day, with studying to boot. And yet, I can tell that he is using his gifts. There is an energy that never really goes away. He and I are working towards something good.
There is something so special about watching your spouse be good at something, and then see other people notice it too. I couldn't be prouder if it was my own accomplishment. And in some ways - it is. I'm behind the scenes, making food for project dinners, cleaning the dishes while Tyler studies, grocery shopping, vacuuming, encouraging. This is my victory too and I love seeing all the hard work, all the study time, all the nights I went to bed alone, finally pay off.
And now we have one LONG month to just be. To just sit and eat dinner. To wash the dishes together. To go for a walk. To binge on The Office. For huge, long clumps of uninterrupted quality time.
Let's do this.